Thursday, May 26, 2011

nothing saints

"a civilization which destroys what little remains of the wild, the spare, the original, is cutting itself off from its origins and betraying the principle of civilization itself."

- edward abbey



garbage is the most significant part of the city ecology. under the cutglass face of the sprawl, under this greasy everfalling rain and the gliding cars, is the dark wet sex organs of the city, the ash stained guts. among the debris all these children live, scurrying from the light of the towerskin, remote and killer distant, future and abandoned towns.

a madman on the street once stopped and told me he was satan. he said he made the city. he said he made it a trap to trap his future wife, who would breed his children.

the momentum or impulse towards increased expansion of human power over nature and over itself has created a thing beyond its control... this replicating expansion has hybridized with a wild emotioned mystery called the human. the land is eaten up to make way for industrial farms, urban sprawl, mining projects, hydroelectric projects to build cores of light and steel and plastic.

in these cores white towers of conception excrete ideas, images and impulses. they radiate hallucinations. at the top, on the 33d stories of high rises, long limbed women and men move gracefully in noiseless dances, in the glare, in the hums of dreams. they build longer towers, more land is exterminated.

this girl ran away from her parents, who beat her every day. this girl went to the city, in a month she was hooking and shooting meth. the needle is made by a factory. the machines wrap the hot plastic into a shape of perfect precision, wrap it around an inch of perfect steel with a sharp point at the end. the machine does this 5000 times a day. she takes the machine and finds a wounded beaten vein and purges her light from her body. she is the book of revelation. over and over .

again.

this one deals meth out of a hotel room. when he is caught, he takes all the charges so his girlfriend goes free. it will send him to a concrete madness of torture. we call this the democracy of the fat.

this drug is an explosion of ugly euphoria, it comes from the city and is the city. if there were no city there would be no meth. the science that made the downtown made the meth. the same humans made it. so they inject the city into themselves. they inject the rain and the bleach and the cars and the indifference and the neon and pornography and the vanity and the television and the internet and the politics and the pollution and especially the pollution and the eulogy to the land


the kids are the city's garbage


and who or what is

a you

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

sally votes conservative

sally votes conservative and is a fire in the night to thousands of street forgotten children. the salvation army van groans and rocks at the stop in the downtown. wet rain on the street, shimmering light shadows zigzagging across the unreal asphalt. she comes out roaring, red hair and all. glasses cut across her biker face.

she hands out little cups of pasta to hard faced men - "what doya say?" "fuck you" he cries, half insane and ready for murder "ah ah" she pulls the little bowl back, the van rocks like a boat. he dazes, he dances, eyes wild like a muscled deer "i mean, thank you" "that's better" she shouts, he eats. she is a talking fire, she spins on the kids the mystery of jesus, how violence can become violent adoration, the strangest of all mysteries, only a blood bathed wise man can say them. this is not the religion of the pious, this is the madchrist, the one who rolled in broken glass and threw themselves into oceans. this is the badchrist, who sucks rags for water and eats rats for dinner maybe jesus should have had another gospel - and i crawled on my belly in the sewer where all the virgins go...

sally clasps me round the neck, exbiker, pillhead, foundgod, now feeding the starving while the fat man pays her bills - says the conservatives will save her kids. she is wild, wandering on to the bus while she waves around a knife and cuts white chocolate cake. sandy votes conservative to save the world. she tells the kids who will be eaten by the rich that the conservatives will save them. i try to tell her they will eat these kids. she doesn't believe me. that cannibal god will save them.

the kids need her to eat. she is the last stop. her boat is like a bus. it rocks among the waves. there is neon cutting the world of rain everywhere. she laughs and kisses them. "what's wrong?" she shouts at the sweet girl "nothing" the girl says "youre lyin to me" she roars "no" the girl says, brushing the rain from her dark skin "yes you are, come with me" they wander away from the bus, drunken, holy, lost. you cant be holy until youre really lost. if you dont get a meal with sally, you dont eat today.

christ is the religion of madmen, because madmen need religion. and the world is a sea.